My Brother's Girlfriend
by Follow-The-Firefly
Summary: In which Germany finds out about Prussia's relationship with Hungary via a social networking site. ONESHOT rated T for Prussia's mouth. PruHun human names used


**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, this would be canon. **

**Zephyr here! I actually finished this yesterday, but I never got a chance to upload it. I've had this idea for a while, but I finally got around to writing it. I really love how this turned out and I hope everyone else enjoys it, too. I think I've provided translations for the German, but let me know if things need to be clarified. Let the deadly tale begin!**

Gilbert opened the door to his brother's house and tried to sneak upstairs unnoticed. It was a little after two in the morning and Gilbert hadn't told Ludwig that he would be late getting back home and he was expected to do some cleaning early in the morning. Gilbert didn't really feel like being scolded for being out so late, but the night had definitely been worth the risk.

He slowly crept up the steps, taking care to avoid the steps that creaked, and reached the second floor. Gilbert successfully avoided all of the squeaky parts on the hardwood floor as he walked through the hallway and into his room. He had made it.

"_Gott_, that was ridiculous." Gilbert breathed a sigh of relief as he shut the door and turned on the lights. "But it was definitely awesome. Then again, she'd have to be pretty awesome, too, for me to be out with her so late."

Gilbert's eyes moved to the bed, where he saw Gilbird sleeping on the pillow. The yellow bird liked to wait up for him when he went out at night, but he apparently had fallen asleep when Gilbert never showed up.

"That's just cute, Gilbird." Gilbert said with a smile.

A series of chirping sounds rang throughout the room, telling Gilbert that his phone was going off. He fished his phone out of his pocket and discovered that he had a text message from Elizaveta.

"_Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Love you- Elizaveta."_

Gilbert smiled at Elizaveta's message. She was always texting him while she was at work, so it was no surprise that she was texting him now. She normally made him text her when he got home so she would know that he got home safely.

"I can't wait to see you as well, Ellie." Gilbert said as he typed in his reply. "And I love you, too."

Gilbert slid his phone shut and set it on the bedside table before plugging it into the charger connected to the wall outlet. He was finally starting to feel tired, which made sense considering the late hour.

"Time to move, Gilbird." Gilbert picked up the yellow bird and set him down next to the pillow.

Gilbird looked rather confused as to why he was being moved, but he was quite happy to see that his owner was back. He hopped over to Gilbert and started to hop onto his shoulder.

"At least let me lay down first, buddy." Gilbert laughed as he slid down under the covers and turned off the lights near the bed.

Though he couldn't see his pet, Gilbert could tell that the bird was hopping all over his chest. He reached up in the darkness and pet Gilbird on the head.

"I've got to go to bed, little guy." Gilbert said through a poorly contained yawn. "I'm spending some time with Ellie tomorrow. You remember her, right?"

Gilbird chirped through the darkness, telling his owner that he definitely remembered Elizaveta.

"I honestly have no idea how I'm lucky enough to have her as a girlfriend, but I'm not complaining about that one." Gilbert said happily. "There's no way that I'm doing anything to screw up this relationship, either."

* * *

"Wake up, _bruder!_"

Gilbert could tell Ludwig was trying to wake him up before he opened his eyes. It was typical for Ludwig to wake up Gilbert early in the morning for no reason and Gilbert didn't want to have to deal with it at the moment.

"Time to wake up." Ludwig said.

"Shut up!" Gilbert snapped. _"__Scher dich zum Teufel/I don't give a shit!"_

"Neither do I, but you need to wake up." Ludwig said. "_Setz deinen Arsch in Bewegung/ Get your ass in gear! _We have a lot to do today."

"Too bad." Gilbert said as he burrowed deeper under the covers. "I'm spending the day with Elizaveta."

"What are you two doing?" Ludwig asked.

"_Das ist nicht dein Bier/ None of your business." _Gilbert responded moodily.

"Fine, don't tell me." Ludwig said with a sigh. "_Mach bloß keine Dummheiten/ Just don't do anything stupid_."

"When do I do stupid things?" Gilbert said from under the covers.

"Only all the time." Ludwig said as he made his way to the door. "Just get up, okay Gilbert?"

"_Ja_." Gilbert said as Ludwig turned and walked out of the room.

Ludwig shook his head as he walked down the hallway and down the steps. He knew his brother had ben late getting home: he'd heard him talking to Gilbird after two in the morning when he came in. He had probably been out drinking with Francis and Antonio again.

He returned to the island in the middle of the kitchen and sat down in front of his laptop after first obtaining a piece of toast with marmalade. He had noticed that Feliciano had left his normal mess of pasta salad on the table, but Ludwig told himself that he would relax a little bit before cleaning up. Alfred and Ivan were always telling him that he needed to take things a bit easier and while it was a bit of a challenge for him, Ludwig felt that he was a bit more relaxed than he normally was.

"I'm up,_ bruder_." Gilbert came into the room as he pulled on a Rammstein t-shirt.

"So I see, Gilbert." Ludwig said through a mouthful of toast. "Are you and Elizaveta going to be home for lunch?"

"No, I think we're going out somewhere." Gilbert shook his head. "Stop acting like a parent, Ludwig. I'm the older brother, you know."  
"I wish you'd start acting like one." Ludwig sent a glare in his brother's direction.

"You need to learn how to relax, _bruder_." Gilbert grabbed his hoodie from one of the chairs. "Maybe Kikku was right about that aspect."

"That's what Alfred and Ivan said, too." Ludwig took a drink of orange juice from the glass in front of him.

"You should try to act like me." Gilbert said as he zipped up his hoodie. "I'm all kinds of relaxed."

"Then nothing would ever get done." Ludwig said with a sigh.

"I've got to get going." Gilbert said. "I told Ellie I'd meet her at her house."

"Have fun and be safe." Ludwig told his brother.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to make an _Assassin's Creed_ reference." Gilbert grinned before he dashed out of the room.

"Except that that's not what the assassin's say." Ludwig said to himself before he got up and poured himself a cup of coffee before sitting back down in front of the laptop again.

He logged onto a popular social networking website so he could check his messages and update his status. Gilbert had insisted that he create his brother an account, despite the protests from Ludwig. The only reason why he had one was because Gilbert had created one without his knowledge and he maintained his account so he'd know if Gilbert ever did something stupid like he normally did.

Ludwig was quite surprised to see that Berwald and Tino had become engaged, since Tino had always been very adamant about marrying his Swedish boyfriend.

"Berwald will be happy with Tino." Ludwig said before he took a sip of coffee. "I'm sure Tino will be happy with Berwald, whether he wants to admit it or not."

He responded to some comments made by Ivan about a possible vacation where he and his sisters would join Ludwig and Gilbert. Ivan had suggested the idea when he had last visited with Natalia, though Ludwig wasn't too keen on the idea.

Roderich had mentioned something about Gilbert spending so much time with Elizaveta and asked if Ludwig knew anything about it. Ludwig hadn't thought that Gilbert was spending any more time with Elizaveta than he normally did. The two were best friend and practically joined at the hip. It made sense for them to spend a lot of time with each other.

"He's just imagining things." Ludwig said as he typed a response to Roderich. "And why does it matter to him, anyway? Elizaveta's turned him down enough times for him to know that she's not interested in him. Not that she's ever been, actually."

Ludwig returned to the main page on the website and scrolled through his friend's statuses. Aside from Berwald and Tino's engagement status, there wasn't a lot going on. Antonio posted something about going to Pamplona to see the bulls and Francis had successfully invented a new recipe involving clams. Arthur had posted a link to a song by the Sex Pistols, Heracles had uploaded pictures of his new cat and Alfred posted about how terrible Arthur's new scone recipe was and how he much he wanted to eat a hamburger, which sparked an argument between the two boys. Gilbert had posted about how had spent the better half of last night with Elizaveta, to which Elizaveta had left a friendly comment, and Yao posted about how his account had been hacked by Ivan and that he was now changing his password to something that the Russian wouldn't be able to find out.

Ludwig updated his status to inform his friends that he was simply eating breakfast and waiting for Feliciano to text him about hanging out when he noticed a change on Gilbert's relationship status. While it had previously claimed that his brother was single, it now stated that Gilbert was in a relationship with Elizaveta. A quick check on Elizaveta's profile told Ludwig that she was in a relationship with Gilbert as well.

Gilbert was going out with Elizaveta? How long had this been going on? And why hadn't Ludwig known about it sooner?

"Why didn't he tell me about this? This is the sort of things that brothers talk about." Ludwig said. "Could it be that he wanted to keep this a secret from me? Elizaveta _is _his first girlfriend, after all. But wouldn't he want to tell me about it?"

Ludwig left a comment on his brother's new relationship status and decided to watch some TV. He was watching a popular British science fiction show when the door opened and Gilbert and Elizaveta walked into the house and into the living room.

"I thought you'd be out with Feli." Gilbert said, his eyes on his brother.

"You've got some explaining to do, Gilbert." Ludwig turned off the TV.

"Gil, what did you do this time?" Elizaveta sighed as she sat down on the couch.

"I have no idea." Gilbert seemed just as confused as she was. "What _have _I done, Ludwig?"

"I was online this morning when I happened to see your relationship status." Ludwig said, the blue eyes meeting the red.

Gilbert exchanged glances with Elizaveta and said, "So you saw that, huh?"

"Is there any particular reason why you didn't tell me?" Ludwig wondered.

"Well, I figured you'd find out eventually, so I didn't say anything." Gilbert explained. "Ellie was talking about changing her status, so I changed mine too."

"But you beat me to the punch." Elizaveta told him.

"I'm the one who has a smart phone and not you, remember?" Gilbert said.

"But I'm always hounding you to do something responsible and this is probably the most responsible thing you've done in a while." Ludwig said.

"Thanks a lot." Gilbert's words dripped sarcasm.

"He has a point, Gil." Elizaveta said.

"Unless this isn't a serious relationship?" Ludwig looked from Gilbert to Elizaveta back to his brother.

"No, it is." Gilbert assured him. "We're just being laid back about it."

"I don't think Gilbert can do anything that isn't laid back." Elizaveta leaned back against the couch.

"Fair point." Ludwig nodded. "So how long has this been going on?"

Gilbert looked at Elizaveta and asked, "About half a year, right?"

"Half a year?" Ludwig was clearly expecting a much shorter amount of time.

"I'd say that's about right." Elizaveta nodded.

"And you never told me in all that time?" Ludwig questioned.

"I already told you why I never told you." Gilbert said with a shrug. "Is that all, _Vater?_"

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere, Gilbert." Ludwig said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "And yes, I suppose it is."

"I don't like being interrogated." Gilbert said.

"And you'd better tell Roderich about this, Elizaveta." Ludwig said.

"What's he done this time?" Elizaveta sighed.

"Can we egg his house again?" Gilbert asked eagerly.

"Of course not, Gil." Elizaveta rolled her eyes.

"He just left me a message asking why you've been spending so much time with Gilbert." Ludwig said.

"And this is one of the reasons why I turned him down time and time again." Elizaveta said. "He's so damn clingy."

"Not to mention obnoxious." Gilbert said.

"You can be obnoxious too, you know." Elizaveta said.

"You know you love me." Gilbert grinned.

"So what are you doing back so early?" Ludwig asked.

"I thought you said that the interrogation was over." Gilbert's eyes were on his brother.

"It's just a simple question, Gilbert." Ludwig sighed.

"Well, I was meant to be paying for lunch, but I forgot that I'm kinda broke." Gilbert admitted. "I figured that we had enough food to eat here since I made _wurst _last night."

"You made food?" Elizaveta's eyes grew wide. "How bad was it, Ludwig?"

"Thanks for the confidence booster, Ellie." Gilbert sighed.

"It wasn't that bad." Ludwig shook his head. "He likes to put too many spices in it."

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." Elizaveta said.

"You still need to give me some Hungarian recipes." Gilbert told her. "Making Hungarian food sounds fun."

"I have a feeling that you'd find some way to mess it up." Elizaveta said.

"Let's just heat up some _wurst_, huh?" Ludwig said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Come on, Ellie." Gilbert grabbed her by the hand and pulled her up off the couch. "We'd better go now if we want a chance at the food."

"I heard that, Gilbert." Came Ludwig's voice from the kitchen.

"I know you did, _bruder_." Gilbert laughed as he and Elizaveta entered the kitchen. "What do you want to drink, Ellie? We just got some awesome raspberry soda if you wanna try some of that."

"It must be good if you're calling it awesome." Elizaveta said. "I'll give it a shot."

"You try things based on how awesome Gilbert says it is?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow as he placed a plate of sausages in the microwave.

"If Gil says something's awesome, it usually is." Elizaveta shrugged.

"Of course it is." Gilbert smirked as he pulled two cans of raspberry soda from the fridge and handed one to Elizaveta. "I take it you don't want _wurst_, do you?"

"No, I'll try it." Elizaveta said as she popped the tab on the can of soda. "I've never had it before."

Gilbert stared at her in disbelief before saying, "You're kidding!"

"I don't know if it's a good idea to have his first, then." Ludwig said as he grabbed some silverware from a nearby drawer.

"No, I'll try it." Elizaveta said. "I need to get used to his cooking."

"You guys _are _serious." Ludwig looked impressed.

"That's what I said." Gilbert told his brother. "I'm capable of being serious."

"It shocked me too, Ludwig." Elizaveta said. "I'm still getting used to how different he is now that we're actually going out."

"All I have to say is it's about time." Ludwig said. "I could see this coming when we were still kids."

"You could?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Of course." Ludwig said as he pulled the sausages from the microwave. "The _wursts_ are ready, by the way."

"And I thought that I was hiding it well." Gilbert frowned. He turned to Elizaveta and said, "Did you know I liked you when we were kids?"

"Nope." Elizaveta said. "Then again, I was finding out that I was a girl, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." Gilbert nodded.

"Wait a minute, Gilbert." Ludwig said as he distributed the plates. "Was lunch today supposed to be a date?"

"I guess so, yeah." Gilbert shrugged.

"You were going on a date dressed like that?" Ludwig gestured to Gilbert's Oomph hoodie and skater shoes.

"We never really saw the point in getting dressed up for dates." Elizaveta explained to Ludwig.

The front door opened and it wasn't long before Feliciano walked into the room carrying a plate of pasta.

"Ludwig!" Feliciano called. "I made a plate of- oh! Gilbert and Elizaveta are here, too?"

"Quite obviously, Feli." Gilbert said as he started to cut up the sausage on his plate.

"Ah!" Feliciano exclaimed. "Ludwig! Did you see Gilbert's-"

"Yeah, I saw this morning." Ludwig replied. "And I've already interrogated him about it."

"You promised me that you wouldn't if he ever got a girlfriend!" Feliciano exclaimed.

"What do you mean 'if' I got a girlfriend?" Gilbert questioned. "Am I that hopeless?"

"Just a bit, yeah." Elizaveta smiled.

"Thanks, Ellie." Gilbert sighed.

"So what are the plans for today?" Feliciano asked.

"Well, Gil and I were just going to play video games all day." Elizaveta shrugged.

"I guess we can clean some other time." Ludwig said with a sigh. "I forgot yesterday that I have some paperwork that I need to attend to for work."

"We can work on ours together." Feliciano nodded as he put his pasta in the microwave. "That'll be fun, right?"

"Are you going to be here all day then, Gilbert?" Ludwig asked his brother.

"I guess so, yeah." Gilbert said. "We can use the TV in my room, though."

"_Ja_, that would be best." Ludwig nodded.

"Let's go, Ellie." Gilbert grabbed Elizaveta's hand and tried to pull her out of the room.

"Let me get our lunch first, Gil." Elizaveta somehow managed to hold both plates, the sodas and silverware without dropping them as she followed Gilbert out of the kitchen.

"Maybe he'll calm down now that he has a girlfriend." Feliciano said as he took Elizaveta's spot at the table.

"I hope you're right." Ludwig said as he stared after his brother.

**I kinda love how Germany was interrogating Prussia. XD I know most people know about Rammstein, but very few people have heard of Oomph. They're a very similar band, but I think their music is much better. I highly recommend listening to them if you haven't yet. **

**That's it from my end. Look for some more fanfics soon. Thanks for reading. Reviews equal love!**


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